The other aspect of my Geekdom that was the direct result of my family is my love of video games. My childhood memories are littered with Atari logos, cassette drives, dot matrix printers, BASIC programs and arguments over high scores in Frogger. My eventual case of Nintendicitis all started with this glorious machine:
- There are probably toothbrushes with more than 8 kB of RAM these days but back then we were literally in awe of the raw power of our Atari 400. It seemed like the even-more-powerful Atari 800 must have been used to coordinate nuclear attacks or beat Russian chess champions.
- "You don't have to be a genius to use one." While that marketing slogan seems pretty quaint and funny now, it was totally true. You didn't need to be a genius... you just needed the patience of a fucking saint.
Now that I'm done with my little trip down memory lane, it's time to get to the actual point of this post. I love me some video games. Always have. I have wasted (and continue to waste) countless hours controlling everything from a knight riding an ostrich to a bandicoot riding a polar bear.
I have shunned family, shirked responsibilities and ostracized friends... and the following is a list of the games that helped me do it. Keep in mind that this list is based solely on my experiences. Your results may vary. Without further ado:
Pop Culture A.D.D.'s Top-10 Video Games of All-Time
10. Pac-Man (Atari 400)
Close your eyes. Think of Pac-Man. Now listen. I guarantee you hear one of three things:
- Pac-Man dying (bwoo-bwoo-bwoo)
- Pac-Man eating (wacca-wacca-wacca-wacca)
- Pac-man theme music (du-du-du-du-du, du-du-du-du-du, du-du-du-du-du, do-duh-lee do-duh-lee do!)
Along with the uber-addictive gameplay and lame-but-awesome cartoon show, those sounds are all the reason I need to add Pac-Man to this list. Before we move on, check out the crazy cover art below. If you ever wanted to know what Pac-Man would look like as a beaver dressed to play basketball in 1981, now you know.
9. Sonic the Hedgehog (Genesis)Sonic may not have turned into the iconic counterpoint to Mario that Sega hoped he would be, but he is still alive and spinning -- and his first adventure is a classic. The speed of the game was downright mind-blowing. Anyone who didn't freak out the first time they saw Sonic do a super-fast loop-de-loop is no friend of mine.
8. Marvel Ultimate Alliance (PS2)Oh, Marvel Ultimate Alliance, you had me at hello. There are a million reasons to love this game and any self-respecting Marvel fan already knows them. For the record, my two favorite reasons are Mjolnir and Daredevil rocking his old-school yellow-and-black duds.
7. Mario Cart 64 (N64)This game was created by Mephistopheles himself. At first glance, it's all cute and fun... but before you know it, you're ready to strangle your best friend with the cord of your controller for dropping back in the race just to be able to unleash the fury of a spikey blue shell on your ass.
6. Gran Turismo 2 (PS)
5. Tetris (Gameboy)I don't know why, but this game NEVER got better than when it was at its simple best on the original Gameboy. Possibly the most addictive game in the history of mankind, sometimes I hear the siren song of its Russian theme music in my sleep. From Russia with fun, indeed.
4. Ratchet and Clank (PS2)This spot on the list is a tie between every member of the PS2 Ratchet and Clank family: Ratchet and Clank, Going Commando and Up Your Arsenal. For the purposes of this post (and my life in general), we are going to pretend that Ratchet: Deadlocked never happened. The good people at Insomniac Games earned their name with this series. I don't even know where to begin when it comes to discussing how awesome Ratchet and Clank is, so I'll just go all 30 Rock on it and say this: I love Ratchet and Clank so much I want to take it behind the middle school and get it pregnant.
3. Super Mario Bros. (NES)The game that forever changed the lives of an entire generation. There is nothing else to say.
2. Joust (Atari 400)If you've never played Joust, you've never truly lived. Not only was it WILDLY addictive and entertaining, it also encouraged two-player, competitive mayhem. Most memorably, Joust blew my mind with its absolutely insane premise. You want High Concept? How's this for High Concept? Good knights riding ostriches grab a lance and face off against evil knights riding buzzards in an effort to destroy them... and their eggs... while avoiding lava... and pterodactyls.
1. God of War (PS2)While I don't love the idea of having such a new game take the top spot on an all-time list, there is simply no denying God of War and its main character, Kratos. Part Maximus Decimus Meridius, part Jason Vorhees, part Dirk Diggler, Kratos is a pantheon-level video game character. The epic story of God of War is more memorable (and better looking) than most movies I have seen. For being groin-grabbingly awesome, God of War tops the list.
BONUS COVERAGE:
You may have noticed a lack of sports-themed games on the list. You'll understand why when you check out:
Pop Culture A.D.D.'s Top-5 Sports Video Games of All-Time
5. NHLPA Hockey 94 (Genesis)
4. NHLPA Hockey 93 (Genesis)
3. NHL Hockey (Genesis)
2. NHL 95 (Genesis)
1. NHL 98 (Genesis)
Come on, I'm Canadian. What did you expect?
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1 comment:
I don't understand how ET for the Atari 2600(?) didn't make this list. I've played it for hours on end just to try to figure out how it works. Any game that can do that, and ends up having NO gameplay has to make the list ;)!
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