Unsolved Mystery No. 1,587,514: Who is Jacob?

Two words: Awe. Some.

In ramping up for Season Three’s upcoming finale, Lost has once again proven that it is the Brian Flanagan of the TV world, expertly blending and mixing different intoxicants to make one heck of a drink.

Two ounces mystery + two ounces drama + one ounce suspense, shaken liberally and served with John Locke = Awesome.

Before we get to the main event and give odds on just who the mysterious Jacob might be, let’s spend a moment looking at exactly why the episode titled "The Man Behind The Curtain" rocked our fuckin’ socks off: (Spoilers ahoy!)

• The Master of Disaster, the Prince of Pain, the King of Cool, John Locke. Watching him beat up Russians, verbally bitch slap creepy island dictators and just generally kick ass is more fun than should be allowed by the F.C.C. Sorry about the bullet to the gut, Johnny. Pop Culture A.D.D. wishes you a speedy recovery.
  
  
• The fantabulous return of Jack Shephard. Looks like we have some catching up to do, indeed. When asked if we are “Jack people” or “Sawyer people”, Pop Culture A.D.D. has always and proudly answered with the former – and that’s why it was so great to see a return of Jack as the heroic “man with the plan”. Welcome back, Jack.
  
  
• The Haunted House. Could last night’s episode have caused a mini-Baby Boom? Even if it didn’t, we are pretty sure it caused couples all across North America to cuddle together on the couch and hold hands while Jack and Ben visited Lost’s version of The Shrieking Shack.

Speaking of the Haunted House, it’s time to talk about the latest mystery offered up by The Island… the identity of a certain now-you-see-him-now-you-don’t crony of Ben’s by the name of Jacob. Since those lazy odds-makers in Vegas are too busy with the NBA playoffs, Pop Culture A.D.D. is proud to present our own odds on Jacob’s identity.

1,000,000 to 1: Casper the Friendly Ghost.

The ghost part makes sense, but Jacob seemed a little less than friendly, so this one is a long-shot.

100,000 to 1: Jack Skellington.


We’re talkin’ corporate synergy here, people! Disney owns ABC and knows they have a valuable property in Jack Skellington, so before they spruce up the old Haunted House theme ride for Halloween, why not give ol’ Jack some free publicity?

1,000 to 1: Howard Hughes.

If the jars of yellow and red liquid are any indication, the survivors of Oceanic Flight 815 might just get off the Island on the Spruce Goose thanks to Hughes, who, truthfully or not, is known to have collected jars of his own urine.

100 to 1: L. Frank Baum.

If anyone is truly “The Man Behind The Curtain”, it is L. Frank Baum, who wrote the 1900 children’s book The Wizard of Oz. Perhaps he is back from the dead and rightfully pissed off about The Wiz.

10 to 1: Roger Workman (Linus).

You’d think that Roger would be happy that even after death, he gets to sit around with a beer. However, if anyone can carry a grudge and be generally unpleasant to be around – and with good, Shakespearian reason – it’s him.

1 to 1: J.C.

Without trying to be too blasphemous, J.C. does seem to fit the bill. Appears only to those who are worthy? Check. Inspires hushed tones of reverence among his followers? Check. Suffered? Check. Possesses the power to heal? Check. Not big on technology? Check. Curly brown hair and beard? Check. (Admittedly, we’re not sure why you’d need a hand gun to visit J.C., but hey, we don’t expect lucidity from Alex Rousseau.)

(Screen capture of Jacob from Lost Screencaps and Easter Eggs. Keep up the good work, guys!)