Suck it, Italian Renaissance.

Obviously, I am a geek. That much should be abundantly clear by now. That being said, I also have a decent education and marginally impressive knowledge of the world outside of pop culture and geek-dom. 30 Rock-style “backdoor bragging” aside, the whole point of sharing this was to admit that as much as I feel I should, I just can’t get as excited about high-brow culture as I can about pop culture.

I first experienced this phenomenon as a child. Toronto has some wonderful art galleries as well as the pretty damn awesome Royal Ontario Museum and even my hometown has a nice little modern art gallery. However, the first time I really felt gobsmacked by seeing original works of art was on a family vacation to California after we stumbled across an art gallery showcasing Batman artwork, much of it by Batman creator Bob Kane.



I’m not sure if it was amazing to me because I could understand the fluidity and gracefulness and starkness of it all in a context (Batman being a total badass) that was familiar to me… or if it was just amazing because nobody in a Monet painting ever punched someone in the face. Anyway, to this day, that art gallery showing remains one of the coolest things I have ever seen.

In the last week or so, a few things have come up which got me to thinking of that Batman art and how thrilling it was. First, there was a news item from the BBC that a James Bond museum is opening up in England. To be honest, I’m surprised it took this long for that to happen. The museum has the tank from GoldenEye, the gun from The Man with the Golden Gun and – best of all – the Lotus Esprit Turbo / submarine from The Spy Who Loved Me. If you think that car didn’t blow my young mind the first time I saw that movie, you’re crazy.


The second reason I’ve been reminiscing about the awesomeness of original Batman art is the fact that my wife and I are planning a trip to Belgium, the Netherlands and Germany. We’ll have the opportunity to see some absolutely breath-taking artwork and architecture. I know that while we are in Bruges (where I’ll be hard pressed not to pull Colin Farrell’s whole “one gay beer for me gay friend and one normal beer for me… cause I’m normal” routine from In Bruges), we’ll have the chance to see the only Michelangelo sculpture (Madonna and Child) to ever leave Italy.


Potential Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles jokes aside; it will be great to see something created by one of the masters of the Italian Renaissance. Despite being surrounded by opportunities to immerse myself in that area of Europe’s history and culture, I have to admit I’m even more excited about three things:

1. The beer.



Seriously, Michelangelo has nothing on some of Belgium’s Trappist monks when it comes to creating works of staggering genius.


2. The Belgian Centre for Comic Strip Art.



You know who are mental about comic strips? The Belgians. Seriously, Tintin and Snowy are national treasures… like Wayne Gretzky and The Stanley Cup to Canadians or Barack Obama and “these colors don’t run” bumper stickers to Americans.

3. The Nurburgring, specifically, the Nordschleife (North Loop).


The Nurburgring is one of the most demanding race tracks in the world. Over the years, it has become the stuff of legend and has bested, intimidated and even killed some of the best drivers in the world. Oh yeah, it’s also nicknamed “The Green Hell”.

So in the end, I guess it just comes down to the fact that I can see beauty in a painting or sculpture or medieval church… but I can see even more beauty in a brilliant beer, ground-breaking comic or demonic race track. Sorry, Michelangelo.

Happy Easter, you cartoon-loving heathens!

Just like J.C. himself, Pop Culture A.D.D. is back in action after a short Easter break.

Now that I’ve already committed just a tiny bit of sacrilege, it’s probably a good time to talk a bit about a bit of religious-themed awesomeness that recently popped up on the pop culture radar down in San Diego. I wasn’t going to bother talking about it just in case the topic or my thoughts on it were deemed offensive but, you know, the Lord hates a coward, so what the hell.

The religious-themed awesomeness in question is an oil painting by Dallas artist and California Lutheran University graduate Glen Tarnowski and is currently on display in a Chuck Jones Gallery in sunny San Diego. Chuck Jones, you may recall, is the late, legendary Warner Bros. artist / cartoonist / director / demigod responsible for some of the very best Looney Tunes and Merry Melodies episodes in existence.

Since a picture is worth a thousand words and I’ve got other things to do than type a thousand words describing a painting, here is Tarnowski’s The Gathering, resplendent in its oil-painted glory:

Just for the hell of it, here’s the inspiration behind it, Leonardo da Vinci’s The Last Supper:

Speaking to the San Diego Union-Tribune, Chuck Jones Gallery national sales director Mike Dicken had this to say after the gallery started receiving 10 to 12 complaints a day by phone as well as a few anonymous letters expressing concern: “We never intended to offend anyone. Most people think it is fun and amusing, but five per cent are pulling their hair out.”

Now that you’re up to speed, Pop Culture A.D.D. is proud to present our Top-5 Mostly Heresy-Free Random Thoughts on The Gathering:

1. What the hell is The Grinch doing there? Why in God’s name does he still have his Santa outfit on when everybody else at the table is on robes? Seriously, it’s freaking me out.

2. According to the Union-Tribune, Tarnowski defended his Bugs & Co. as Jesus & Co. homage by saying that, “God loves people so much that even if we were all cartoon characters, he would have come to us, perhaps in the form of Bugs Bunny.” Go smoke a joint and think about that little concept for a while if you want your mind blown.

3. In The Last Supper, Judas is the third person to the left of Jesus. In The Gathering, the character who takes the place of Judas is none other than that hunter of wascally pwahphets, Elmer Fudd. Instead of saying “One of you shall betray me”, maybe Bugs said “One of you shall be attracted to me when I cross-dress”.

4. The Chuck Jones Gallery receives 10 to 12 complaints a day about this thing? Good Lord. Did San Diego run out of gay and lesbian couples, stem-cell researchers and sexual imagery on TV? How come these people have so much time on their hands?

5. The Road Runner gets to take the place of John the Apostle or Mary Magdalene, depending on whether you believe Leonardo da Vinci (one of the most diversely talented, brilliant people to have ever walked the earth) or The Da Vinci Code author Dan Brown (that guy who writes cheesey thrillers).

Obama Chia: Funny, Insensitive, Awesome or All of the Above?

Without a doubt, some people will think the new Obama Chia is funny; some people will think it is racially or culturally insensitive; and some people will think it is awesome.

As a Canadian, I admit to being a little bit jealous of it too. It’s not like I can walk into my local Real Canadian Superstore (not a made-up name) and buy a Chia Pet resembling Canadian Prime Minister Steven Harper. Then again, his hockey-helmet hairdo doesn’t exactly conjure images of lush chia sprouts. Oh well, maybe someday they’ll make a Harper Chia with little stringy white alfalfa sprouts I can comb into a Harper helmet.

In the meantime, please know that the Chia Obama is available in both “happy” and “determined” (pictures) versions and that, my friends, is awesome.

Dead is Dead

Dead is Dead (Prologue)

Even Geeks Have to Eat

While Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons may live on nachos and “cheeze” and wheelbarrows full of quickly congealing burritos, not all geeks share his gastronomical tendencies. In fact, it is possible – nay, preferable – to be both a geek and a foodie. After all, settling in to watch Lost or The Dark Knight is even more fulfilling after a nice meal and a glass (or bottle) of wine.

Without question, the King of the Geek Foodies (Foodie Geeks?) is none other than Alton Brown, creator and host of Good Eats on The Food Network. He has also authored several books and crisscrossed America on a motorcycle for his Feasting on Asphalt miniseries – yet still finds the time to offer expert commentary and intentionally lame puns on Iron Chef America. He’s basically the closest thing to Batman the cooking world has.

Thanks to the wonderfulness of the internet and Google Image searches, you don’t have to take our word for it that Alton Brown is King of the Geek Foodies, you can see it for yourself:

Alton Brown himself, or, more specifically, as The Waffler…

… and, to erase any last doubts you may have about his awesomeness, his KitchenAid mixer.

Anyway, now that we’ve attempted to establish that being a geek and being a foodie don’t have to be mutually exclusive, let’s move on to the actual point of this post, which is how awesome the upcoming Top Chef Masters series is going to be.

For the uninitiated, Top Chef is a Bravo reality show (shown on The Food Network in Canada, eh!) pitting up-and-coming chefs with actual cooking skills against each other in culinary battle. The contestants are judged by a panel including head judge Tom Colicchio, chef/owner of Craft Restaurant in New York, and host Padma Lakshmi, author, spokesperson and object of affection for every straight guy and lesbian girl who has even been on the show.

So yeah, the show is awesome – the Foo Fighters even think so, so you can’t argue – the contestants actually know how to cook, the host is ridiculously beautiful and if that’s not enough, it can be funny (Top Scallop) too. When it comes right down to it, it is one of the best shows on TV – and now they are about to unleash Top Chef Masters on the world.

Basically, Top Chef Masters replaces the up-and-coming chefs with a whole whack of established chefs and our familiar judges with a new panel. While we’ll no doubt miss Padma, here are Pop Culture A.D.D.’s top-five reasons why Top Chef Masters will still be awesome:

5. This guy is going to be one of the judges.

Apparently, thanks to Simon Cowell, it has been decided that every judge’s panel needs a comically-douchey douche bag. One guess who that will be on Top Chef Masters.

4. Lost writers / producers Carleton Cuse and Damon Lindelof are making a guest appearance.

Please God, let the chefs have to create dishes inspired by Lost. If someone makes Smoke Monster salmon, I’m going to lose my mind.

3. N.P.H. is the house.

Neil Patrick Harris has also been announced as a guest star. It’s good to know that TV producers are starting to learn the new math: YOUR SHOW + N.P.H. = YOUR SHOW BUT BETTER.

2. Chef John Besh is one of the contestants.

Beyond being executive chef and co-owner of the August restaurant in New Orleans, Besh was also a contestant on The Next Iron Chef, which was coincidentally hosted by none other than Alton Brown. Besh is basically a cooler version of Harry Connick Jr. and brother, that shit ain’t easy to pull off.

1. Zooey Deschanel.

If you’ve seen the movie Elf starring Will Ferrell, you understand; if you haven’t, you don’t. Is “chardorable” (charming + adorable) a word? If it’s not, it will be someday because of Deschanel.

Time is on my side: Console Wars Edition Part II

In yesterday's post, after a brief rant about how supposedly hectic modern life is, we started looking at Pop Culture A.D.D.'s Top-11 Game-Playin’, Time-Wastin’, Thumb-Bustin’ Consoles of All-Time. After a short break to, you know, eat, sleep and work, we're back and ready to count down the final five.

5: Nintendo Wii

Being a video game geek isn’t always easy. The sore thumbs, the ghostly white complexion, the empty bank account, the theme song from Tetris constantly playing in your head… it can be quite a burden to deal with on your own. That’s why it’s exciting when someone decides to share in that part of your geekiness. The Wii is one of those rare, family-friendly consoles that my wife actually wanted more than I did – although it didn’t take much convincing to get me on board. Apart from the Wii Fit balance board mocking me, the Wii has been great and I’ve grown to love it in all its so-cute-I-want-to-barf glory.


Killer app: The Wii Fit has honestly helped me get in marginally better shape, which is cool. That being said, I’m no athlete and I don’t earn a living thanks to my physical prowess or lack thereof. I use my mind grapes to bring home the bacon, which is why Big Brain Academy: Wii Degree is my app of choice.

Era of my life wasted: Early 30s (present). As much as the Wii is in fact a gaming console from the same company that wasted so many hours of my life in the past, I’ve got to say, it has helped more than hindered. It’s like a frickin’ Bizarro world.

4: Atari 400

Ah, childhood. It was a simple time of 8-bit computers, dot matrix printers, tape drives, floppy discs, BASIC programming, and wanting to murder my older brother after he’d beat me at Match Racer or Claim Jumper. Seriously, for such a simple system, it had some seriously bad-ass games that could turn brothers or the best of friends against each other. I still remember it all so well (and still hate my brother so much because of it). Thanks, Atari!


Killer app: Pac-Man. Ms. Pac-Man. Frogger. Q-Bert. The Atari game catalogue is a veritable who’s who of ass-kicking games. However, there was still one game to rule them… and that game was Joust. Joust had it all and when I say all I mean knights, ostriches, pterodactyls and lava.

Era of my life wasted: Toddler through single-digits – or, as I like to think of them, the Atari years. Even after all this time, I still think lame BASIC programming jokes (10 Sin 20 Goto Hell) are funny.

3: Sony Playstation 3 / PS3

Oh, Playstation 3, why are you so awesome? Is it your wireless controllers? Is it your Bluetooth remote that doesn’t have to point at you? Is it your Blu-Ray player? Is it because you are the very best kind of PS3 and can play all my PS2 games? Is it because you are pretty? Is it because your downloadable content is awesome? Is it because Rock Band 2 is the shit? Is it because someday soon I’ll be playing God of War III on you? The great thing is, my love affair with my PS3 is still in its honeymoon phase. Assuming I’m not in jail for committing some kind of perverse sexual act with my PS3, it might even end up higher on this list someday.


Killer app: I was looking through the dictionary and stumbled across this entry: geekgasm \ ‘gēk-ga-zem \ intense or paroxysmal excitement as experienced by a longtime fan of the Ratchet & Clank franchise the first time they play Ratchet & Clank Future: Tools of Destruction on the PS3. So yeah, you could say I liked it just fine.

Era of my life wasted: Early 30s (present); also known as the High-Definition Era. I’ve got to say, I’m enjoying HD and the power of the PS3, whether it’s as a game console or Blu-Ray player. That being said, digital characters in video games definitely have it easier than real actors on Blu-Rays. No amount of make-up or Vaseline on the lens can hide the fact that movie stars are human like the rest of us. Remind me to pass on watching Rodney Dangerfield, Edward James Olmos or pornography on Blu-Ray. As for the PS3 itself, Ferris Bueller said it best: “If you have the means, I highly recommend picking one up.”

2: Sony Playstation 2

As wonderful as the PS3 is, the PS2 accomplished the same goal (of being a kick-ass multimedia powerhouse) for nearly a decade – and is still enjoying strong sales. Before my PS2 finally gave up the ghost, it had acted as my DVD player and introduced me to some of the best video games (Ratchet & Clank 1-3, God of War I & II, Gran Turismo 3 & 4) I’ve ever played. If they ever do get around to creating the mythical PS9 and it is the pinnacle of all things, it will have you to thank for helping it get there, PS2.


Killer app: I just don’t think I can do it. It would be like a father openly admitting which kid he liked best. The Ratchet & Clank franchise was the most fun. The God of War franchise was the most jaw-dropping, cinematic and bad-ass. The Gran Turismo franchise was the most addictive.

Era of my life wasted: Mid-20s to early 30s. In a very real way, the PS2 had a direct impact on my life – and not just contributing to the arthritis I will no doubt have in my thumbs some day. Gran Turismo 3: A-Spec was released in 2001 and made me fall in love with the Subaru Impreza WRX STi, just like everyone else who played the game. However, unlike everyone else, I managed to actually get a job writing for Subaru a few years later, which was really the start of my career as I know it now. Thanks for helping me pay the bills, PS2!

1: Sega Genesis

Here we are at the top of Pop Culture A.D.D.’s Top-11 Game-Playin’, Time-Wastin’, Thumb-Bustin’ Consoles of All-Time and frankly, it couldn’t have ended any other way. 1989 was a pretty memorable year. The Berlin Wall came down; pro-democracy protestors clashed with Chinese security forces in Tiananmen Square; and George Bush Sr. became President of the United States just so he could someday vomit on the Japanese Prime Minister. However, I was 13, so my world view was pretty limited and all I cared about was my new Sega Genesis. It was beautiful. It was exciting. It probably pushed back my social development by at least a year or two.


Killer app: Altered Beast, Golden Axe and Shinobi were all pretty bad-ass but in the end, the Genesis was really just the needle to inject NHL video games and feed my addiction. Originally just called NHL Hockey and then NHLPA Hockey 93 in its second year, the series fell into its familiar naming convention starting with NHL 94, to be followed by NHL 95 and so on. The day each new cartridge was released might as well have been a school holiday. There were tournaments; there was joy, there were tears; there was the 1993 Chicago Blackhawks lineup of Jeremy Roenick, Steve Larmer, Michel Goulet, Chris Chelios, Steve Smith and Ed Belfour; there was that memorable cameo in Swingers. It was magic.

Era of my life wasted: Early-to-late teens; sporadically throughout my early 20s; a short time in my late 20s; no doubt sometime in the not-too-distant future. Quite simply, nothing in this world makes the beer go down quite as well as NHL hockey on the Genesis does. Playing NHL hockey in the basement of my best friend’s Mom’s house wasn’t so much about video games as it was a testament to mind over matter and the ability of a Canadian teenager to eat Taco Bell, drink at least half a case of beer and still be able to deke the goalie and score on a breakaway, which will be forever known as “a 93”.

Final Thought:

After thinking back through my life as a gamer, I realized that Nintendos were like friends, the Atari was my first crush, the Genesis was my first love, and the Playstations were the girl I married and wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Sorry, Xbox, there's just no room for damn dirty whores in my life.