Even Geeks Have to Eat

While Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons may live on nachos and “cheeze” and wheelbarrows full of quickly congealing burritos, not all geeks share his gastronomical tendencies. In fact, it is possible – nay, preferable – to be both a geek and a foodie. After all, settling in to watch Lost or The Dark Knight is even more fulfilling after a nice meal and a glass (or bottle) of wine.

Without question, the King of the Geek Foodies (Foodie Geeks?) is none other than Alton Brown, creator and host of Good Eats on The Food Network. He has also authored several books and crisscrossed America on a motorcycle for his Feasting on Asphalt miniseries – yet still finds the time to offer expert commentary and intentionally lame puns on Iron Chef America. He’s basically the closest thing to Batman the cooking world has.

Thanks to the wonderfulness of the internet and Google Image searches, you don’t have to take our word for it that Alton Brown is King of the Geek Foodies, you can see it for yourself:

Alton Brown himself, or, more specifically, as The Waffler…

… and, to erase any last doubts you may have about his awesomeness, his KitchenAid mixer.

Anyway, now that we’ve attempted to establish that being a geek and being a foodie don’t have to be mutually exclusive, let’s move on to the actual point of this post, which is how awesome the upcoming Top Chef Masters series is going to be.

For the uninitiated, Top Chef is a Bravo reality show (shown on The Food Network in Canada, eh!) pitting up-and-coming chefs with actual cooking skills against each other in culinary battle. The contestants are judged by a panel including head judge Tom Colicchio, chef/owner of Craft Restaurant in New York, and host Padma Lakshmi, author, spokesperson and object of affection for every straight guy and lesbian girl who has even been on the show.

So yeah, the show is awesome – the Foo Fighters even think so, so you can’t argue – the contestants actually know how to cook, the host is ridiculously beautiful and if that’s not enough, it can be funny (Top Scallop) too. When it comes right down to it, it is one of the best shows on TV – and now they are about to unleash Top Chef Masters on the world.

Basically, Top Chef Masters replaces the up-and-coming chefs with a whole whack of established chefs and our familiar judges with a new panel. While we’ll no doubt miss Padma, here are Pop Culture A.D.D.’s top-five reasons why Top Chef Masters will still be awesome:

5. This guy is going to be one of the judges.

Apparently, thanks to Simon Cowell, it has been decided that every judge’s panel needs a comically-douchey douche bag. One guess who that will be on Top Chef Masters.

4. Lost writers / producers Carleton Cuse and Damon Lindelof are making a guest appearance.

Please God, let the chefs have to create dishes inspired by Lost. If someone makes Smoke Monster salmon, I’m going to lose my mind.

3. N.P.H. is the house.

Neil Patrick Harris has also been announced as a guest star. It’s good to know that TV producers are starting to learn the new math: YOUR SHOW + N.P.H. = YOUR SHOW BUT BETTER.

2. Chef John Besh is one of the contestants.

Beyond being executive chef and co-owner of the August restaurant in New Orleans, Besh was also a contestant on The Next Iron Chef, which was coincidentally hosted by none other than Alton Brown. Besh is basically a cooler version of Harry Connick Jr. and brother, that shit ain’t easy to pull off.

1. Zooey Deschanel.

If you’ve seen the movie Elf starring Will Ferrell, you understand; if you haven’t, you don’t. Is “chardorable” (charming + adorable) a word? If it’s not, it will be someday because of Deschanel.