The Beatles: Rock Band (aka why I will soon be broke)

At long last, Harmonix, music-based video-game developer extraordinaire, is starting to release details about the upcoming The Beatles: Rock Band. In case you’ve been in a Sunny von Bülow-type coma for nearly five decades, here’s the “For Dummies” version of why that is exciting:


The Beatles are four guys from Liverpool, England, who revolutionized pop music and the fainting threshold of teeny boppers from 1960 to 1970.

Rock Band is a four-instrument, music-based video game from Harmonix that revolutioned just how inept amatuer drummers could be from 2007 to present.

As for the actual details of The Beatles: Rock Band that have been released, Harmonix is still holding back on the good stuff – like the track list or even number of tracks. However, that’s not to say Harmonix didn’t leak some interesting details:

1. The release date is 09/09/09.


I’m not sure of the significance of the number, but I have to assume it is because the number of the devil is 666 so something as obviously awesome as The Beatles: Rock Band would have to be a bigger / opposite number.

2. The special edition is $249.99!?


We’re talking $249.99 U.S. funds. Not Canadian funds. Not pesos or fucking rubles, but U.S. funds. Admittedly, the limited edition “premium bundle” includes the game, a Höfner bass inspired by the one McCartney used, Ludwig-branded drums (with classic pearl finish and replica Beatle kick-drum head) as well as a mic and stand. Still. Ouch. I’ve only got so many organs and body fluids to sell, Harmonix.

3. “The Beatles: Rock Band will allow fans to… experience The Beatles’ extraordinary catalogue of music… that takes players on a journey through the legacy and evolution of the band’s legendary career.” – MTV press release


Hmmm… what’s the phrase I’m looking for here? Oh yeah, I remember now: Fuck yeah! That part of the press release makes it seem as though there will be something of a narrative or timeline to enjoy. If we get to start off playing at The Cavern Club and make our way to The Ed Sullivan Show and beyond, I’m going to lose my fucking mind. (Let’s just hope Yoko and Mark David Chapman are nowhere to be seen.)