Oh, comics. How do I love thee...

Playwright and poet William Congreve originally wrote that “music hath charms to soothe a savage breast, to soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak.” Since modern society has already taken it upon itself to rework the quote into the much simpler “music soothes the savage beast”, I figure there is no harm in further tweaking so that the phrase feels more personal to me. To wit:

Comic books hath charms to soothe a savage temper, to soften harsh realities, or turn an old man young.

What I’m trying to say is that no matter how much life changes for me personally or the world changes around me, there is something deeply comforting and relaxing about taking the time to sink into my loveseat at home and crack open a good comic book. Hell, even a bad comic book has its charms.

Obviously, the allure of a good comic book comes down to good, old-fashioned escapism. Comics can transport you back to the simpler times of a youth filled with cheap comics from drugstore spinner racks. Comics can turn a complex, grayscale world into a simple world of black and white, of good and evil. Just like the fables of fireside stories before them, comics can also guide morality and inspire hope. Perhaps most of all, comics can make you smile at the iconic, absurd awesomeness of it all.

With all that in mind, Pop Culture A.D.D. is proud to present the Top-10 Reasons Comics Make Me Smile:

10. Ninjas, Dinosaurs, and the Impermanence of Death:


Real life is filled with rules and threats and distasteful choices and Fox News. Comic books are filled with ninjas and dinosaurs and flying cars and Hitler getting punched in the face. Best of all, unless you are Uncle Ben, you can take one for the team and die knowing you’ll be back in no time.

9. Iron Fist Has Awesome Friends:


You know who’d make lame friends? Ross and Rachel. You know who’d make awesome friends? Mother-fucking Luke Cage, Misty Knight and the Immortal Weapons of the Heavenly Cities, that’s who.

8. Matthew Murdock Never Gives Up:


People think Spider-Man / Peter Parker has it bad thanks to the death of an uncle and a girlfriend but that’s nothing compared to the never-ending trials and tribulations endured by Daredevil / Matthew Murdock. Seriously, his life is awash in dead family and friends, psychopaths, asylum-bound wives, drugs, dementia and Catholic guilt. Does he give up? Fuck no. He hits life in the face with a billy club, that’s what Matthew Murdock does.

7. The Might of Mjolnir:


Two words: “Kraka” and “Thoom”. Thanks, Walt Simonson.

6. The Artistry of Doctor Doom’s Villainy:


I don’t think it’s difficult to be a villain. Hell, robbing a bank or threatening someone’s life is probably a lot easier than doing something truly heroic. Know what isn’t easy? Being a really good villain and really selling your villainy – and nobody does it better than Doctor Doom. That guy makes chair-sitting look evil.

5. Captain America is Patriotic:


I’m not even American and I admit to getting swept up in the purity and grandeur of Captain America’s patriotism. It shouldn’t be surprising considering the guy is dressed like the frickin’ flag, but when it comes to inspiring the troops and giving evil the old right hook, nobody does it better than Cap.

4. Batman Can Beat Up Superman:


Superman is an alien / God. Batman is a really pissed-off orphan. Somehow, it is just kind of comforting every time a writer decides to figure out a new way for Batman to lay the beat down on the big ol’ boy scout. It may raise theological issues and take wish fulfillment a little far, but you can’t argue that basically punching God in the face is kind of cool.

3. Everything About Aquaman:


Green pants. Orange shirt. Blonde hair. Ability to talk to marine life. Aquaman is basically “living” proof that sometimes things are cooler than the sum of their parts. He shouldn’t really be awesome… but brother, when you see him comin’ at ya all pissed off and riding a fucking whale, that’s exactly what he is.

2. Daredevil Knows How to Make People Talk:


How many times has Daredevil gone into Josie’s Bar (or any other wretched hive of scum and villainy), busted some heads and come out with the information he needs? 50 times? 100 times? You’d think low-level street thugs would start buying a case of beer and staying home with the door locked to watch America’s Next Top Model instead of going out every night and getting their ass handed to them.

1. Batman is a Badass:


Imagine the coolest thing you’ve ever said or done. Now imagine the coolest thing someone way cooler than you has ever said or done. Now add that amount of coolness together, multiply it by 1,000, dress it up in black, give it a couple billion dollars and an awesome car and have it kick you in the face. That’s Batman and that is just one of the many reasons why comic books make me smile.