Thankfully, 32-year-old me gets slightly less confused and sometimes even enjoys it when an actor crosses over from one thing I love to another. Case in point: actor Idris Elba, who is best known for playing the awesomely awesome Russell “Stringer” Bell on HBO’s awesomely awesome The Wire. (He’s also known in my house as the man my wife would leave me for given the chance, but that’s neither here nor there.) Recently, Elba started showing up on another of my favourite shows, the American version of The Office, and I’ve got to say, like a cheeseburger on a hangover day, I’m lovin’ it.
All of this is a long-winded way of getting to this week’s throwdown. If you want to see Idris Elba as paper company executive Charles Miner going head-to-head with paper company regional manager Michael Scott (Steve Carrell), all you have to do is watch The Office. However, to see Stringer Bell and Michael Scott in a groin-grabbingly awesome throwdown, you need Pop Culture A.D.D.
Let’s meet this week’s challengers:
The Wire’s Russell “Stringer” Bell!
The Office’s Michael Scott!
*Ding ding ding* Let's get it on!
Career Path:
Stringer Bell grew up in the Baltimore projects alongside best friend Avon Barksdale and enforcer-to-be Wee-Bey Brice. After establishing himself in the drug trade, Bell turned mostly legit and got into real estate development, political bribery, buying nice suits and occasionally planning the murder of Avon’s family members. You know, all the typical work-a-day stuff.
After an embarrassing stint in children’s television during his youth, Michael Scott worked his way up through the ranks of the Dunder Mifflin paper company, from successful salesman to regional manager of the Scranton Branch. A friend first, a boss second and possibly an entertainer third, Scott’s time at Dunder Mifflin recently came to an abrupt end, when he left the company to start the aptly-named Michael Scott Paper Company.
Advantage: Michael Scott. (Sorry, Stringer, maybe you needed to buy a “World’s Best Drug Dealer” mug to better make your case.)
Extracurricular Interests:
Stringer Bell: Getting straight As at the Baltimore City Community College; building an impressive home library; looking over the top of his glasses; makin’ copies; forming co-ops with other drug dealers; complying with Robert’s Rules of Order; being cold as ice.
Michael Scott: Cooking his foot on a George Foreman grill; rapping; partying at Scranton parties that don’t stop; writing “very sexual” parodies of Tears in Heaven; eating at Chili’s; playing hockey; pulling guns during improve class; penning awesome screenplays; wearing flattering jeans; pointing out what she said.
Advantage: Stringer Bell. (Come on, he makes even community college classes seem bad-ass.)
Love Life:
While D’Angelo Barksdale was in the hoosegow, Stringer Bell swooped in all suave and tall and started dating Barksdale’s girlfriend and baby mama, Donette.
Michael Scott has a habit of dating or wanting to date any attractive woman he comes in contact with, from his real estate agent to his boss to a dead woman in an office supply catalogue to a concierge in Winnipeg to a stranger at a blood drive. However, the true love of his life is no doubt former Scranton branch Human Resources representative Holly, whose Yoda impression is just as bad as Michael’s.
Advantage: Michael Scott. (Seriously, Stringer. Donette? Damn. That’s cold, even for you.)
Friends, Enemies and Acquaintances:
Apart from the aforementioned Barksdales and Wee-Bay, Stringer Bell had a pretty eclectic group of people to call his friends, enemies and acquaintances. Calvin “Cheese” Wagstaff (as played by frickin’ Method Man), Slim Charles, Preston “Bodie” Broadus, Proposition Joe Stewart, and Malik “Poot” Carr all count as friends. Omar Little, Marlo Stanfield, and Brother Mouzone all count as enemies. Sadly, Stringer was a pretty business-before-pleasure type of guy and didn’t really have any true friends… at least not friends that weren’t trying to kill him.
Like Stringer Bell, Michael Scott’s social circle is lousy with co-workers and business relations. While he considers Jim Halpert to be his best friend, the sentiment isn’t exactly shared. In the end, his friends and acquaintances don’t really matter; all that matters is his mortal enemy: Toby Flenderson. Michael’s unadulterated hatred of Toby is a thing of pure beauty and their relationship belongs in the TV Enemies Hall of Fame alongside Sam Malone & Gary of Gary’s Old Towne Tavern and Maggie & The Uni-brow Baby.
Advantage: Stringer Bell. (As awesome as Michael vs. Toby is, you can’t put a price on hanging out with guys named Cheese, Slim and Poot.)
Last Appearance:
Trapped inside one of his own real estate developments by the shotgun-carrying, Robin Hood-esque, homosexual bad-ass Omar Little and the bow-tie-wearing, Harper’s-reading, Islamic bad-ass Brother Mouzone, Stringer Bell goes down in a hail of bullets that would make Bonnie & Clyde proud.
In a scene right out of Jerry Maguire (assuming Jerry Maguire was funny, which it mostly certainly was not), Michael Scott leaves Dunder Mifflin to start his own company, taking only loyal receptionist-turned-salesperson Pam Beesly with him.
(http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqbxZG6FMeI)
Advantage: Stringer Bell. (Sweet merciful crap. Seriously, just watch the clip below. That is some Grade-A-level awesomeness right there.)
Final Scorecard
Stringer Bell: 3
Michael Scott: 2
It was a close battle and Michael Scott did Dunder Mifflin proud but in the end, Stringer Bell came out on top. Don’t feel too bad though, Michael, Stringer had to die to do it.
Rest in peace, Stringer. Like The Snorks, Platinum Blonde and the original BK Burger Buddies, you were too beautiful for this world.
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